Friday, July 27, 2007

They're in disguise. As pure shit.

I have just seen Transformers. A lot of people told me that it was a pretty good movie. Various magazines that I will usually give the time of day to gave it strong, if not raving reviews.

They were all wrong. It was an absolutely grotesque shambling abortion of a movie. And I use the term 'movie', not 'film'. I don't think I went into this with unreasonable expectations. I wanted big robots, knocking the crap out of each other, and/or shooting each other. I got that, for all of seven minutes.

The rest of the time I got the single worst-written movie I've ever some across. I can't honestly cope with how bad it was. The techno-babble was the standout piece-of-shit, lack of research bad writing cliche that you expect from this sort of thing. I thought we'd left "They're giving our system a virus!" behind with Independance Day. We have not. What's worse, is we've gained "They have taken all our internets! They've literally taken them, and stuffed them under a hat somewhere!" And: "It's full of gigabytes! We need fewer! Or maybe more! With quantums!"

Without wanting to spoil it for anyone, the film ends with the main human characters getting nasty on Bumblebee's hood while Optimus Prime watches. If that's not enough...

1 comment:

Kirsty said...

I'd heard about this rant but hadn't actually read it.. Genius Dave, genius.