Thursday, June 28, 2007

Thank You, Thank You, Thank You

Oh Lucasarts, I could kiss you, if only you weren't an abstract corporate entity.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Uh, wait a second...

So, apparently the German military has decided that it will not allow Tom Cruise to film in Germany because he is a Scientologist. Now, I believe Tom Cruise, and Scientology in general, to be mad as a sackful of greasy stoats, but it would be churlish not to point out that Germany has had a fairly poor record of discriminating against people on religious grounds in the past.

Illness watch: still ill. Have eaten toast. Didn't help.

Monday, June 25, 2007

I Know You're Full of Diseases

Or more to the point, I am full of diseases. I am feverish, have lost my voice and have been, rather disconcertingly, crying uncontrollably. This is due to the fact that there is so much pressure in my sinuses that it's forcing the liquid out of my eyes. Every twenty minutes or so I go blind, and resemble the old Spitting Image Gazza doll.

Good fuckin' times.

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Thank Fuck

Well, at least this country is slightly more sane than America. In america, preventing hideous debilitating disease is considered immoral and Unchristian.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

And it was all going so well...

The new Batman film was looking pretty good. Hell, it still might be. But, and this is a big but:



Stupid motorbike with guns. Oh well.

Sunday, June 17, 2007

A change of Direction

Due to commercial pressures, development on Cuchulainn has been diverted towards a more mainstream project, a witch molestation game. All assets will transfer to Emo Boy Touching Fringe Surprise Yes! Is go!. Out in Japan and rural America this summer.

No, we actually did some work.

Friday, June 15, 2007

Let's see if I've got this straight...

This frankly terrifying little game from Japan would seem to be a VOIP phone-sex service, but you're meant to understand that you are not, in fact talking to a borderline-suicidal Japanese housewife, you are talking to this:



Eroge. From the nation that brought you a game about molesting witches. Please Japan, just stop it.

Yep, this could work

Sweetholycraponastickitsoptimusfuckingprime!



In other geeking the fuck out news:



After the Joker car last night, now these two pieces of geeky loveliness. Don't know that I can take much more.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Shiny

If this is, as has been rumoured, The Joker's car from The new Batman film, The Dark Knight, then I will be a very happy man indeed. I will try to use fewer commas by way of celebration.

Increase my killing power, eh?

This seems like exactly the sort of research that won't get abused horribly. No, it's definitely got a ring of the old 'pure and simple benefit for mankind' about it.

Still, cyberpunk's all coming to life and shit. There's something.

Monday, June 11, 2007

Thought For The Day



That is all.

Oh, the agony.

I loved the first two X-Men movies. They were smart, funny, and pretty damn well made. The third was both an insult and a bad joke, but that's not what we're here to talk about.

It's long been rumoured that there would be a Wolverine spin-off movie. This was taken as good news, though I think most folk who care about this sort of thing were worried that it might simply be a cynical attempt to squeeze a little more money out of a franchise that has been driven into the ground by the twin machinations of Tom Rothman and Halle Berry.

Well, according to this that's exactly what it is. These are two bad directors. But Len Wiseman is the worse of the two by a long way. Unfortunately, by the time the unfortunate Die Hard 4.0, which he's directing, craps onto the screen, old Len is going to have a bit of clout. So I think he'll get the gig. Having made Underworld 2 and Die Hard 4.0, he's already the Hollywood go-to guy for utterly extraneous sequels.

This is a man who managed to make a film about vampires and werewolves kicking the shit out of each other not only bad, but boring. If anyone can make a film about a guy with blades coming out of the back of his hands who, like, totally flips out and kills, like, a hundred guys boring, it's Len Wiseman.

Take a bow, Len.

Crunch Time




This is my first mobile blog. For those of you who don't know, that means I'm sending stuff from my mobile, and it publishes here. Basically, do something stupid anywhere near me from this point on, and I'll throw you at the internet. Hard.

In other news, I saw so much fake tan at the supermarket i now need to stare at a goth to recalibrate my eyeballs.

Saturday, June 09, 2007

I think it's happening.

Old age is upon me. Playing the Shadowrun demo last night, I found myself simultaneously enjoying it and thinking "Oh well, shame I'll never have time to play this."

I think it's actually the first time I've been put off buying a game purely because of the investment of time it would require. This does actuall scare me more than a little bit. An element of proper grown-up may be creeping into my psychological makeup, and I don't like it one bit.

Either that or Shadowrun has been designed purely for ADD teenagers.

I also played Overlord, something I've been looking forward to for a while now. When the prompt flashed up: "Set fire to wheat field to incinerate Hobbits.", I knew that my wait was not in vain.

Thursday, June 07, 2007

Mr Sandman...

I am more tired than I have ever been. Let's just accept this and move on. I cannot sleep. My usual sunny demeanour may occasionally be blotted out by slight crabbiness. Sarcasm may ensue. I will try to keep this to a minimum.

And if you believe that, then why, I have these fine magic beans you may wish to purchase.

I thought I would be able to get decent quality work out of myself for the final few hours I can remain propped up this evening. I though that if I drank a whole load of coffee and listened to The Go! Team real fucking loud that I might just be able to invigorate myself into turning out more dialogue for our game.

This did not happen.

I drew a little doggy.

Cuchulainn

I mentioned the Irish myth game idea. It's happening. It's happening here.

Please watch our progress, and chide us if we seem slow.

Monday, June 04, 2007

I don't know art...

...but I know what I like.

The Little Things

There are few pleasures to be taken from working in a commercial bookshop. The hours are bad, the pay is largely non-existant. There are some good people to be found, but they seem to be a dying breed. You have to make your own fun, if there's to be any.

There's a section in our store called MBS, which is where hippie nonsense and conspiracy theory books go. If it's batshit crazy, it goes there. Which is why we've taken it upon ourselves to put all the creation science books on a big display there, right next to the David Icke books. The crowning glory though is a row of books, alternating between Ann Coulter's 'Slander' and a charming book called 'Who Built the Moon?'.

It's nice to poke a little gentle fun now and then.

For some reason I thought it would be a good idea to turn the Ulster Cycle of Irish myth into a computer game. I'm now trying to turn a jumbled and confused myth into a chronological story, and flat, illogical characters into actual human beings. It's like trying to turn an episode of Neighbours into Citizen Kane. I'm going to have a headache for some considerable time.