Tuesday, June 30, 2009

So, Transformers 2.

Transformers 2 is a lot like being stuck in a washing machine on a repeat cycle, along with stones of various sizes, several racists, a few misogynists and a scatalogically obsessed 12-year-old boy.

Renowned auteur Michael Bay focuses primarily on the madonna/whore dichotomy that has so long been a part of western culture. He does this with shots of Megan Fox that would embarrass her gynecologist. He will sometimes cut to her pouting lip, seemingly operated by a length of wire from just off camera. Sometimes something will be blowing up when this happens. Sometimes not. You never know with Bay, and therein lies his genius. I don't know what point he's making, but several of the explosions were very large.

He has space for subtext though - there is a running commentary on the military industrial complex, specifically focusing on how frickin' awesome it is, how great it is to blow stuff up, and how empowering it is to point huge shiny penises that spray bullets wherever you goddamn please. Sometimes representatives of military industrial complexes that are not specifically the US turn up. You'll be able to spot these because they are on fire. Occasionally a robot farts. Sometimes one falls over in a comical manner.

Watching Transformers 2 is a lot like being Alex in A Clockwork Orange, but with Linkin Park instead of Beethoven. Same time 2011?

Sunday, June 21, 2009

The Dilemma.

Right now, I cannot sleep.

I need something to keep me from running out and charging at the kids selling drugs behind my house. As I sit, wide awake in the middle of the night, I am struck with the notion of how utterly wonderful it would be to tear towards the little bastards at full clip screaming "AAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaRrrrrrRRRGHFUCKYOUIAMBATMAN". But then, in my head there's less stabbing and stamping of my mangled form than that would probably precipitate in real life.

Suggestions for reasonably clean alternatives?

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Books, Revisited.

I picked up a copy of The Raw Shark Texts for £1 from a remainder bookstore, the frayed edges of a Borders 3 for 2 sticker and associated smingy glue still attached to the top right-hand corner. Something is badly wrong with publishing.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Possessed of an Abiding Usefulness.

Like burlesque? Want to survive the inevitable breakdown of society? Tactical Corsets.

That's right. Like the 'Why do they never just shoot them in the face?' fallacy of superhero comics, but much, much worse.