Sunday, June 21, 2009

The Dilemma.

Right now, I cannot sleep.

I need something to keep me from running out and charging at the kids selling drugs behind my house. As I sit, wide awake in the middle of the night, I am struck with the notion of how utterly wonderful it would be to tear towards the little bastards at full clip screaming "AAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaRrrrrrRRRGHFUCKYOUIAMBATMAN". But then, in my head there's less stabbing and stamping of my mangled form than that would probably precipitate in real life.

Suggestions for reasonably clean alternatives?


Oliver said...

I recommend blasting them with recordings of The Archers at high volume. The inconsequential doings of middle class farmers is like Kryptonite to the youth of today.

dvc said...

Charge at them, stark bollock nekkid, clutching a bottle of ketchup, screaming "I'm coming home mommmeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!"

See if that works.

Anonymous said...