Tuesday, December 25, 2007

I Don't Learn.

A big part of Christmas for me, at least in recent years, is discovering just how horrible the Doctor Who Christmas special is. Every time I assume that this will be the year that they don't royally fuck up their most expensive episode, and every year I'm disappointed.

This year's was particularly vile. Amongst the offences:
  • Every other line was an in-joke.

  • A seemingly endless shot of The Doctor walking towards camera.

  • Twee 'Magic of Christmas' bullshit.

  • A huge, melodramatic "I'm the Doctor" speech.

  • A need to come up with at least 8 deus ex machinas for when a sonic screwdriver just will not cut it.

  • The whole script.

It's been pretty bad for the last two years , but this one was pretty much a crime. There. It's out of my system now.

Monday, December 24, 2007

False Advertising.

I've recently succumbed to some vague notions of modern male grooming. This is not to say that I am not some sort of grunting, hairy ape-boy, because I am. I just happen to be one that owns moisturiser. What I will say to those following my pioneering trail is this: dermatising microgranules is just a fancy term for very small grit. Do not be fooled.

In other news, I am occasionally stroking my signed His Dark Materials boxset (number 999 out of 1000, I'm sure that means something), and making little purring noises. My family are beginning to get used to the idea.

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Work Haiku.

I have had enough
Boy, activate the device
They will soon know fear

Monday, December 17, 2007

Ghost Rider - Update 2.

Ghost Rider is not as bad as X-Men 3.

Ghost Rider - Update.

Do not watch Ghost Rider.

When Stunts Go Bad.

I'm watching Ghost Rider. I think it might be one of the worst films ever made. It barely makes sense, which is an achievement, given that it's a dumb action movie about a flaming skeleton chasing down the kid from American Beauty and his three emo friends.

It makes Daredevil look like a masterpiece. More when it's over.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

I'm Doing Science.

Hello there, internets. I am not dead. In other news...