I Don't Learn.

A big part of Christmas for me, at least in recent years, is discovering just how horrible the Doctor Who Christmas special is. Every time I assume that this will be the year that they don't royally fuck up their most expensive episode, and every year I'm disappointed.

This year's was particularly vile. Amongst the offences:

• Every other line was an in-joke.


• A seemingly endless shot of The Doctor walking towards camera.


• Twee 'Magic of Christmas' bullshit.


• A huge, melodramatic "I'm the Doctor" speech.


• A need to come up with at least 8 deus ex machinas for when a sonic screwdriver just will not cut it.


• The whole script.

It's been pretty bad for the last two years , but this one was pretty much a crime. There. It's out of my system now.