Saturday, November 22, 2008

Calamaties, Various.

Music is dead. This killed it. I'm not even going to embed it, because I don't want it staining the purity and integrity of this fine site. I'm not even going to apologise, because for once it's something fucking dreadful that I didn't do.

In other news, I've been trying to enjoy Fable 2, but am failing because the game is so utterly wretched in so many ways. It tries very hard to make you like it in the beginning - it has decent combat, is beautifully presented, and does a reasonable job of expanding on the story of the first game.

Here's the kicker - it has no emotional depth whatsoever. My character is married. I cannot remember her name. She repeats the same lines as all the other characters in the game, in the same voice. She is always happy, though she hasn't seen me in a year of game time, but 40 coins are deducted from my account each day. It is preposterous.

Interaction with the other characters boils down to standing in front of them and jiggling. If you jiggle well, stuff happens. Or so I am told. I haven't really noticed. You strut and belch, scream and fart. Not a single line of dialogue issues from your character, but you could break wind for ten hours if it amused you.

They have designed a beautiful world and populated it with flatulent mannequins. Fantastic.


Mister Aedan said...

Where in the name of our primal pile of goop did you find that unbearable shite? Is it a bad parody or just a bad song?

Shame about Fable 2, I quite liked Fable although I never really got much out of it due to not actually owning an Xbox. But I liked the concept.

Dave said...

It came from Warren Ellis. He delights in appalling his audience. I for one am glad that he found this way of doing it, instead of writing another novel.

And no, it's not a parody. The band are on Wikipedia. They did it on purpose.