Pills.

Going by my intermittent rantings on these here internets, you could easily confuse me for someone who is currently healthy, or at the very least, cogent. Why, I almost did myself about an hour ago, when I set out into the unknown on a bold and noble quest for soup and ibuprofen.

The first thing I noticed was that my sense of balance is shot to all hell. I was kind of aware of this before, but it's a whole different matter when you are no longer surrounded by furniture and other soft things to fall on, but instead giant spiders and serial killers. Nonetheless, I needed a tin of ol' Muligatawny, and continued on to Asda. It's at about this point that everything started to break down. As far as I can tell, I spent the best part of five minutes wandering around, trying to find ibuprofen, all the while mumbling "pills" as loud as one can mumble.*

Long story short, I had to spend some intimate time with a burly security guard named Barry**, who was as much of a gentleman as one can expect, given the circumstances. When I returned home, I found someone had managed to get into my ebay account, tried to buy some otaku shit, cancelled the order, and got me banned.

One suspects the dread hand of the cosplayer at work. Who else would want a "Harajuku Juicy Cute Girl Panda Carry Tote Bag"?

*True.
**Not even slightly true.