New competition. I now want song titles that are really fucking good song titles, but genuinely appalling names for porn films. And when I say appalling, I mean that they will, like medication bought from unsolicited emails, induce vomiting. I'll get the ball rolling, with the first track from The Wombats album:
Tales of Girls, Boys and Marsupials.
The gauntlet is down, folks. It is down.
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Don't have most of my music to hand (it's in my dad's attic), so will have to do some research, but the new White Stripes album has the unpleasant-sounding "300 M.P.H. Torrential Outpour Blues". "Torrential Outpour" sounds like it has "niche" potential.
While we're on the subject of filth, my work email is getting spammed by a company called MegaDik, whose emails I was deleting unread until I realised that each one contained a charming poem:
That's great you've met a gal that's hot
You wanna screw her dripping twat.
She's cute and taking, she's so nice!
But would your penile size suffice?
Not sure she will long for more?
You need a thing she would adore!
But how to get it long and thick?
Your only chance is MegaDik!
You'll get so wanted super-size
And see wild craving in her eyes!
Your shaft will slam her pink so deep,
Tonight you'll hardly fall asleep!
Not exactly John Donne, but points for effort surely?
Sir, I submit unto you the following:
Torn - Natalie Imbruglia
Autophilia - The Bluetones
Mama told me not to come - Tom Jones
Satan is in my ass - Evil superstars
Take it easy Chicken - Mansun
Take your mama - scissor sisters
That was your mother - paul simon
Under 16 girls - Travis
Dave W
That's the spirit! More!
Atrocity Exhibition - Joy Division
Try Not To Breathe - REM
Fistful of Love - Antony and the Johnsons
Cry Baby Cry - the Beatles
We Rule the School - Belle and Sebastian
Hounds of Love - Kate Bush
Dead and Lovely - Tom Waits
I like this one, though you have to say it out loud:
Air - 10,000Hz Legend
Sifting through the McSweeney's internet database of lists, I came upon this and thought of you.
Or rather, I thought of this post. Let's not get the wrong idea or anything.
Titles of
Cinema Classics That
Would Be Bad Titles
for Pornographic
Films: http://mcsweeneys.net/links/lists/30MatthewSewell.html
Although it's not something I feel particularly proud of, I came up with this all by myself...
Though now I'm stealing the McSweeneys thing.
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