Justifying The License Fee.

Not an actual video, just a screen grab of the second thing to make me throw up in my mouth a little today.

Probably Too Far This Time.

Sometimes people at work send me some fairly dreadful pictures. And sometimes I make them worse. Here, for your education, edification, and most probably consternation:

Sorry, Could You Repeat That Please?

So there are some pretty shitty politicians in Britain.



And there are some pretty shitty politicians in America:



But really, nothing beats the sheer shittiness of Australia's politicians. Be sure to read the whole article. The quotes from the witnesses are priceless.

Wrong, In A Splendid Way.

Right. So. This thing.

I'm not sure if it's the greatest thing mankind has ever done, or a sure sign of the end times. Comments please.

What's That Under The Bridge?

They're up to 700 comments. People still don't get it. Suddenly support for McCain starts to make sense.

And God Said Unto Man:

Never gonna give you up.

I was taken in by the antispore site. We all were. But it turns out that the site's creator is, in fact, a DCL.

The true purpose of the site has been revealed. And it is glorious. Poe's law, otherwise known as 'spending 6 months convincing Andy Schafly you're as mad as he is' in all it's genuinely infallible wonder.

Addendum: Even though the author put in a full verse of Rick Astley's classic 'Never Gonna Give You Up' and referenced Poe's law, i feel it necessary to direct you to the post in question. Look at the comments. Post fifty is yet another attack on the author, starting with the phrase "First of all, are you serious?".

Let me answer that one. No.

Scroll down through the comments. It goes on for a while. No-one seems to be getting it. Maybe the rickroll is just too subtle. But really, this is another prime example of John Gabriel's Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory (a theory as accurate as Poe's law):



Post 111 (to get to which you must scroll past the phrase 'Rickroll' about 50 times) starts: "First off, are you really that stupid?" And so it goes on. Enjoy.

And On The Eighth Day, God Facepalmed And Yelled 'Crap! Irony!'

Clicky.



Apparently there are people out there who know how to build a website with no idea of how Google Ads works. Ah well.

And if you want to read a man rail against a game in which an omnipotent creator makes life from nothing and claim it is 'anti-Christian' with apparently no irony whatsoever, you can see it here.

I Promise To Stop Soon.

As an infrequent blogger with four (I think) female readers, I find this profoundly disturbing.



If you don't have five minutes to spare, skip to 2:58 and listen to the nice lady. But I'd suggest watching the whole thing, as The Daily Show is probably the sanest perspective on the world currently available.

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Gusset.

Clickthrough. Read the text. Glow softly with pure joy.

Snigger.

Cursory.

Right. A couple of things.

1. Sarah Palin. Someone who thinks the world is only 6000 years old pressing to drill for more fossil fuels is the funniest thing I've heard in a long, long time.

2. It would be wrong of me not to direct you to the sweet zombie action to be found here. It's the trailer you want.

A Note For Potential Insurers.

I'm tired of photoshopping Mowbli onto things. Here's a new game. Anyone who feels desperately compelled to sell me insurance, just all of you get together in a big circle around me. I will have a machete. Anyone with enough fingers left to type up my details at the end of five minutes can sell me insurance.



And the very best of luck to you all.

What It Says On The Tin.

Zombie dating. Yup.

Zompocalypse: The Comic!

If you use Stumbleupon, never, but never add 'comics' as something you want to browse. You get sites about actual comics, but you also get the absolute worst hack webcomic shite.

It doesn't matter if you can't draw, just stack two circles on top of one another in MS Paint and away you go! People will think it's charming and homemade! You definitely don't need jokes, only those bullshit hacks who make money money from their comics bother about shit like structure and punchlines.

Here's my guide to making a webcomic:

That Meaty Harvest.

For some time now I've been promising everyone who reads this thing that whatever floated to the top of my spam filter would once again be pressed up against your screen like so much face at the window.

Without further ado then, some moist, if not entirely fresh, spammy treats for y'all:

Don't get lost in her eyes because of small dimensions.

Or impossible geometries, presumably.

Tell them about the honey

You must. It is fucking imperative.

Have wild nights of love back again to life.

Despite appearances, the message was not selling sex zombies.

We have everything to cure your masculinity.

Good. It was beginning to itch.

Unemployed To Be Used For Soup

If you vote for Cameron.

Be ready go come anytime

That's why we had the flap installed in the kitchen door.

All the women will be in awe when your manhood shines like a star

What? I mean, what in the name of Jesus Trevor Christ?

Do you want to be King of sweet babies?

Categorically no.

And finally, not a tagline, but I did receive a message from a man by the name of... Kenny Jesus. And I'm glad I did.

Please, Stop Calling.

Common Sense?

At The Cair-funn Whare-huss.

I have been phoned perpetually by representatives of Carphone Warehouse, all wanting me to extend the free insurance policy I didn't sign up for. This has been going on for nearly a week, despite each and every one of them swearing blind that it would not happen again, in any of the up to five times a day I have been contacted, and it's starting to bother me.

Yarrp.

You're not getting an explanation. Or an apology.

Le Retour.

I'm back.



Aren't you glad?